1 - Ciara, Ryan, 4yo Sophie, 2yo Ella, Hoppy - blue rabbit, Sinead - Aunt. Dirty silver Micra, Skerries beach, Ciara drives, Ryan's pristine Jeep, Ryan was in a good mood, no longer 'what have I done this time'. Go swimming - kids cold and plead to mummy, she’s got what she wanted - family, husband, etc. 2 years since returning to Ryan, Glasnevin home, silent treatment. Ryan plays with girls and leaves her to unpack. Mum in Sheffield, gets in argument and Ryan blames her.

2 - 3yo Rory, Joey and Nathan – Sinead’s kids, Gallway honeymoon, she finds out she’s pregnant, nice day till he comes home, huffs when he doesn’t get his way. She gets kids in car.

3 - Go to Pheonix Park and book B&B, limited funds, attic, watch shark videos, phones Ryan and tells him she’s leaving, she always tells him everything – shows him what she bought etc. Buys flights to mum’s house.

4 - Go to airport, he said it would be ok to go, he phones the Guards and blocks them from getting on flight. Smug and then Ciara agrees to meet him.

5 - Takes kids to playschool, meets Ryan, he blames Rhona(her mum) for instigating it (she didn’t), finds out she’s pregnant and calls her crazy. Ciara wants him to move out till she finds somewhere to stay.

6 - She’s late to kids pick up and goes to her old home, kids watch Netflix and she packs, sees smashed wedding picture, leaves, sees Ryan at petrol station – he looks like a decent person.

7 - Goes to kids play area to kill time, cautious of money, tries for emergency accommodation – at capacity, has to call in again next day. Drives – had to when Ella was young as Ryan didn’t like her crying, Says to meet Ryan properly.

8 - Questions herself why she drove so far, low petrol, parks at risk of getting clamped, they get accommodation at hotel, goes back to car – no clamp, and goes to hotel, dodgy area, food coupons. Used to teach in Brazil 1 year, English degree and teacher. Gets pizza and back to hotel to look for flats and job.

9 - Leaves kids in room and runs to car to get maternity bra, returns and card doesn’t work on door, has to go to reception. Neighbour Cathy helps. Kid – Lucy, teens – Adam and Lyra. Has a friend Alex – had similar situation – non-physical domestic abuse.

10 - Goes to meet Ryan – ‘Urgent’- baby chicks – Ryan all nicey-nice. Anecdote – if you say something he disagrees with he goes on about how you’re stupid and he’s right.

11 - Meets cousin Louise – beach trip – talks of Barbies when younger in Derry, gives her some money. TEFL around world, PGCE, 5 year maternity. Ryan didn’t want her working – controlled money.

12 - Talks with Cathy – 12 weeks pregnant – doubt creep in that she might be the problem, 2 c-section scars – England for abortion? Who’d look after kids?

13 - Mum and sis come and visit – go to beach and back to B&B they’re staying at for tea – has to leave to check in to hotel on time. Texting Ryan, sis not happy at that. Leaves. At hotel housing got back, ‘incomplete documents’. Ryan sends reminiscent pics.

14 - Cathy won FB prize – Family pass to zoo, all go and Alex too, on tv during lunch news of woman killed by husband, had 4 kids. Bring own snacks to zoo. Next day play in St Stephen’s Green – Ciara runs bath, Ryan texts about visiting tomorrow, Ciara say’s she’s busy – expects repercussions. Has chat with Alex.

15 - Visits Ryan, 2 chicks died – feeding the other. His hand on her lower back. Ciara tells him no more, she will drop off the kids and leave, ‘it’s over’, he gets aggressive.

16 - Housekeeping come – Diego. In a rush to go to her first day of work TEFL, 2 right 1 wrong lesson. Enjoys the camaraderie of staff, worries of leaving kids alone with Ryan.

17 - School trip for Italians around Dublin in rain, no update on housing. Sinead tells her she could have been teaching all along – doesn’t know Irish – 3 years to learn. Ryan-Patricks parents - all religious, threaten with solicitor.

18 - Another trip to beach in hot weather. At hotel cravings, brings 2 keycards and goes to kitchen for orange juice. Sugar pack have Irish on them with English translation. Sees Diego – ‘friends are shelter/home’. Ryan finds out they’re in hotel, wants to keep kids, hands her envelope.

19 - Has kids out late, bars are busy and open. Goes to the wrong place, finds solicitors – Grace- talks over history – met 2013, married 3 months later. He moved over and called every day, wouldn’t let her go to shared accommodation so to keep him happy moved in together, then married to keep him happy, then Sophie came along. Only time he looked after kids she had to rush back from evening out, going through red lights.

20 - Takes kids to school, Ella starting to feel warm and pale. If she stays off she won’t get paid, Phones out of hours during night and has to go to hospital, blood testsm can be treated at home.

21 - Spoken to about feedback, Veronica wants to sit in a class. Goes for coffee with someone she hadn’t seen in a while, on way to hotel meets Diego, he grew up where she TEFL outside Sao Paolo, he’s struggling with English – studying physiotherapy, she wants to help him.

22 - Diego late for first lesson (1hr), she needs air and goes outside, he gives her a gift – Brazilian food. Court day – Ryan doesn’t turn up, playing with her head, his day to look after kids, says something came up in work and brushed it off like it was nothing. Makes Diego laugh his syntax wrong.

23 - Class observation – all goes well, has another week, Diego giving up smoking and is drinking tea instead, Ryan saying how heartbroken he is. Ciara has pains not like the others and in class passes out, ambulance called, wakes up a couple of times – one in ambulance and again in hospital, doctors and nurses. ‘Ciara, do you understand what is going on?’

24 - Wakes up in hospital, bump is gone, nurse holding her son, Noah. Cathy went to pick up kids but Ryan already took them. Her mum is coming over next week to look after them but baby was early. Ryan phones complaining about kids, doesn’t ask about Ciara and baby. Ryan comes to hospital next day and refers to kid as ‘her’, next day parents and him. 5th day she can go home, nurses think she’s getting picked up at door. Ryan thinks she’s coming home. Ciara gets lift from Diego – get kids from school – go get Hoppy from house. House is a mess – crow tethered. Later Ryan wants to know where they are. Ciara goes for food and struggles with stairs in hotel, bathes girls. Ryan threatens with solicitor.

25 - Christmas – in Tesco sees Diego ahead, he sees her and will come help, she thinks he’s cooking dinner for a date. Ciara has simple foods – noodle etc. Gets decorations from Ryans when he’s out and decorates hotel. Overdoes it but Cathy gets why. Christmas day at Ryans – his parents there, wants her to leave Noah. New court date in January ‘will you show up?’

26 - Court goes mostly her way, his pretend tears. Overnight stay including Noah. Finds spyware on her phone always knew where she was all along.

27 - Goes to housing place, she gets HAP, lots of places don’t accept HAP. Looking for housing. Ryan still hasn’t had kids overnight.

28 - Returns to housing, been 3 months and no word, no house. Ryan still no kids overnight. Lorainne tells Ciara to dress up nice for house viewings and not to mention HAP, only later. She’s been tutoring English. House view she really liked, didn’t get it and asks Diego to pretend to be her husband for viewing, he declines.

29 - Leaves kids at Ryans, waits till lights are all out, doesn’t want to go to hotel so goes out with Diego, kiss, stays at his, no sex. Gets a call at 6 in the morning to pick kids up. Ryan calls them ‘feral’, had his mum come and help. Meets up with Oliver for street tour and show, Oliver moving says about taking his house. Oliver from play group.

30 - Move in day, peace. Gets things from hotel, spys new family. Ryan has kids coming weekend. Gets 2nd hand stuff from Oxfam etc, every room is a playroom. Diego comes for lesson. Stays a while after. Feels his comfort for a while after he leaves.

31 - Sophie is having nightmares, Ciara comforts her. Can’t let Ryan find out. Ryan can’t take kids, moved, landlord selling. Living with coworkers no suitable for kids, wants to look after kids at hers. Sophie’s birthday party.

32 - Ryan convinces her to let him stay, says the shared accommodation isn’t working and she lets him stay a few days. Edges closer each evening on the sofa, hand on hip, grabs her, tries to kiss her. Earlier at party Sinead has a go at him. Diego calls for lesson and she tells him to leave.

33 - Goes to baby massage with Noah next morning, Slept with back to door in girls room. Agreed to allow him in and got back together, never seen him so fierce so allowed it and had to agree that she’d let him sleep with her. Didn’t spend time with the other mums after massage and went to the hospital as scar still sore, tapped blood. Opened up to nurse to get help, phoned refuge and stayed the night, told them about Ryan penetrating her waking her up raping her. And it was easier to just go along with it. Get 9 day restraining order.

34 - Diego invites her on trip to Mayo with friends so the have to speak English for upcoming tests. Ciara fog clears, happy, joy, allows to read. Diego got accepted to go to New York. She goes to 3 rocks towers on the way home with kids, they could see it from the hotel, kids allowed to go off and enjoy running around. Sinead’s email.

35 - Sinead says about coming over to England for a couple of days, mum is unwell. Mum has done up a room for Noah and the girls to stay. Kids stay with Cathy as they can’t leave.

36 - Ryan gets access again to see kids, he’s ragin she went away to see her mum. Ciara worried about kids all day, return time comes and passes and no show, she goes to the house share and they had no idea. Went back to the old house and checked keys and works in door, finds the girls upstairs but no Noah. Girls say Noah wouldn’t feed on bottle. Garda come and look for Ryan. Eventually find car, tell Ciara and she knows where he will be. Ciara finds them and takes Noah, Ryan leaves. Noah cold but alive.

37 - Ryan has restricted access and kids can leave country. Crow found tied up outside sanctuary with a note and Ciara’s number. Diego still tutored, Ciara has primary school job, room for Sophie in school, unwilling to go to mums, wants to prove herself and this is home.