Friday, 13 February 2015
Concerning Insys.
It has come to my attention lately that people just dont understand me and think I'm weird, even people in have known for a very, very long time. As I was lying here in bed I was trying to think exactly what makes me me.
I have always been known to be weird but I never really questioned why until recently when doing what I thought was a nice thing was seen as weird. So this is a bit about who I am.
As I've said I've always been known to be "weird", but I never drew attention to myself, like dressing as a goth or funky hairstyles, I have always dressed very "normal" and plain, even when I was at that age where everyone was in one group or another I still just wore normal clothes and have never really followed any trends. In fact the nearest thing to a trend I follow would be getting an Arsenal shirt each year.
I don't think I have a really wacky personality, I would say I am an incredibly quiet person, I am terrible in groups and enjoy just sitting and listening to people talk, in a conversation, my brain is just too busy taking in what everyone is saying, and not saying! I'm fine one on one though.
I don't generally do stupid things, maybe from time to time, like every couple of years when there is a lot of booze involved, but on your normal day nothing out of the ordinary.
Maybe I do look a little funny being short and walking around with a stupid smile on my face, looking normal and all, but most people smile back and maybe they smile to the next person and so forth.
I have a VERY addictive personality, I can't stress the word very enough, when I do something, I jump in with two feet, gaming alone hints this:- the 100s of days playing WoW, the hours spent playing cs:1.6, even FFvii, the Tomb Raiders, Actua Soccer and initially Striker on the amiga. Lately it has been the photography and we'll you've all saw that.
Thankfully this helped in secondary school, where I did get into the work and sports (when I could) and always tried my best, primary school was all about sports but towards the end I got more of a buzz off academia and thankfully not to late so I got into a very good grammar school for both.
The booze and smoking are also a hint at my addictive personality, I've done well with the smoking over the last year but the drinking really needs combated.
I am genuinely a really nice person and I cannot remember the last time I wished any harm to anyone, nor said anything intending to be nasty or mean and I have certainly never been negative towards anyone and only encourage the best of them.
There are six types of people in my life. Those I don't know, the ones I interact with, I do care and I try to remember as much as I can about you, those I would acquaint and spend more time with in person. It is very easy to switch around the last two groups there. My "inner circle" a group of about 12 very good friends. Family, these two groups I have been incredibly lucky to have such great friends and loving, caring family. And finally a very, very small group of people that were no good for me, the forget them group, it's probably bigger than I remember.
So... Why am I weird? I'm a normal, happy, incredibly lucky person, that wishes and tries to bring the best out in people?I try to do nice things for people and make people feel comfortable and safe in my company. Maybe my selfishness of doing nice thing for people to make me feel nice is a bad thing?
Being an Insy means being an undefinable "weird".