Thursday, 31 October 2013
Halloooooweeen!!
Turned out to be an "or so" then...
Thursday came along and I had decided yesterday that I was going to head up to Belvoir Park Forest and that's exactly what I done. The sun was shining down and it was a bit of a crisp morning, but I had a coat, hat and not a care in the world, could have rained all it wanted and I wouldn't have minded. It didn't take as long as I had thought to get up there and when I did I had a look at the map to see which route to take, the last time I took the short one so wanted to go for a different one this time. Took a picture of the map just to make sure I knew where I was going, which I didn't bother with.
Went down the hill and started off the wrong way going back to the moat where I had been before as I thought the path split down there but I could see down to the river and there was no path this side of it and had to walk back up again and to the back of the building and round that way. From the start it felt like it was maybe going to be a messy walk as I was wearing my white trainers and they had already mucked up a bit, but once round a bit it did clear up and was a lot dryer. Once I got round Belvoir onto the other side of the river I just kept walking, I knew I would eventually end up at Stranmillis but I didn't know how long it would take, I kept walking along and eventually that is where I ended up. By this stage I was sore and tired and done out, I was going to regret it... But I still had to get home and walked through Ormeau Park back towards home while spotting some conkers and decided to take a bit of a seat for a while too, probably the worst thing I could have done, getting up again after that was a struggle and there was still a bit of a walk to go. Finally made it home and had a bite to eat and then a sleep after for a while.
That evening I was dropping my old PC down to Jamie's and had to use the car, for the first time in nearly half a year. It's not that I don't like or I'm scared of it, I just normally don't need it. But while there he said about staying as another friend who I hadn't seen in quite a while was coming over shortly so that's what I done, it was great seeing him again and it was like there was no time since the last time we were all together probably about 6-7 years ago! Scary how fast time can go.
Friday I was quite looking forward to, the first thing was that Ender's Game was out and couldn't wait to see that, went a bit "fast" but it was still a long film, I think they could have maybe split it into two, but then I'd moan that it was dragged out and they should've only made the one. The special effects of the space battles and the battle room were pretty good and the kid didn't annoy me as much as I thought he would and suited the roll quite well. After that I went home and dinner and in the evening watched the rugby. Didn't do much in the evening as I was heading out to a Halloween party the next night so wanted to be well rested for that and ended up just watching a film, Sunshine, it was a good show and was recommend to me, didn't realise that I had seen it before, although a lot of it was patchy and enjoyed it the second time round as well.
I got some good news about Monday that I was quite excited about, but you'll hear about that at the time. After the films I had been watching today I had a feeling that my dreams where going to be a little weird, they where all about dying and sacrifice, I've never been scared of dying, I don't want to, but I don't think it would disappoint me. I keep on remembering back a few years ago now when I was standing waiting on the bus and some kid came up to me and pointed a gun to my head and I laughed and smiled at him, I didn't know it was a toy at the time and it was only after that I realised it was. So in the end they were weird, I remember thinking "I don't think I'll share them I'll get locked up" and well now I've forgotten what they were.
On Saturday I had a couple of things I needed to get, or well one thing a shoe lace for my Halloween costume and was going to go into town for that and remembered that the Arsenal match was on TV ended up going to Consy just to get it and home as quickly as possible and watched the match. After the match I just came onto the computer for a while and killed time really more than anything and even went for a nap in preparation for tonight. Saturday night was a mostly a great night, quite enjoyed it with everyone dressing up, beer pong, pub for a bit and everyone getting together, but then just the usual shite that crops up.
Surprisingly on the Sunday the head was quite clear but still most of the day was spent lazing around watching films and TV and in the evening watched and recorded the fireworks from the house and ordered a Chinese to watch while the Ghostbusters where on even though it took an hour for it to arrive and finished the day off by watching World War Z.
Monday... Monday I was excited about, had a super special meeting to see a couple of films that aren't out yet i.e. Gravity and Thor 2, Gravity was incredible I normally never recommend going to see a 3D show but this one is essential in 3D, fantastic stuff. Thor on the other hand I thought was quite average and even during a part of it I took off the 3D glasses to check it was in 3D and I wasn't sitting there like a goof for no reason. When I got home watched another film, Dreamcatcher, I'd seen this one as well think it's based on a Stephen King book, it's a little weird but good. In the evening I worked a bit on the previous blog, very slowly and then some Stargate after.
Tuesday morning I got a call from my GP, I had phoned them yesterday to order some tablets that the hospital only gave me a two weeks supply of and the hospital said they would order them in and to get in contact to make sure they were there before going over to collect them, but when I did another nurse said it would be easier going to get them from the GP instead, if she had have just checked in the cupboard she would have found the box sitting waiting, but of course that would be too difficult for them. The GP had no record of me being on these tablets... So I had to bring the box down to make sure I was getting the correct ones. Thankfully when I did they gave me the script and I wasn't there very long. A bit later in the day I went round to the chemist to pick up the tablets and then round to Victoria's to pick up the tickets for tonight's comedy night in the Empire that we had won the week before and had a bit of a natter too, always nice catching up with her. Home to have dinner and to make arrangements for tonight, but no one seemed to be up for anything apart from Cobbe who was going to the final ever Four Winds quiz, so I decided to make a bit of a journey out of that. Went into town to catch up with Bill for a bit and to watch the first half of the football, but Bill wasn't there, my guess is that it was because the United match wasn't shown where he normally goes so I took a seat and watched the game and started chatting a bit to another guy who was there, who used to be an Arsenal season ticket holder until they got rid of Van Persie. After got the bus up to the Four Winds and got there just as they were arriving. The quiz was fun after already having a couple of drinks I didn't contribute much, but I still added to the team on the odd question. After the quiz we went back to Michael's house that has this incredible bar in his living room.
The next day I didn't bother with much, I had made another order for some tablets yesterday and the GP phoned up again asking about that because on their records I was getting eight a day, I have not been on eight a day since... a very long time ago, maybe 10 years and told him that I've been on three a day for the past two years without them changing. I can't wait to get registered with the new GP which will be happening next week.
The main thing that has happened over the last week was getting the appointment to get the cataracts removed from my left eye which will be in mid/end of November, can't wait for it to get taken out as I try not to make it noticeable that I'm doing it but if I'm with people I try to make sure there isn't a light behind them so I can see them, get away with it a lot and they don't notice but there are times where I blatantly have to say to them about swapping positions so I can see them. Will be much easier, but then I will have to start wearing my glasses more often.
Today so far I've not done much, a bit of TV and got an o2 sim (free) and downloaded the priority moments app, got the activation code and put that in, changed back to my other sim and binned the o2 one. So now I can get the priority moments on my phone, still have another sim if anyone else wants to do the same. The rest of the afternoon I plan on just watching some more TV and films and this evening I'm heading to Wallace Park for Twilight Night By Fairy Light should be fun.
Monday, 28 October 2013
Post Traumatic Cure
So I've been getting lazy writing on this... I have full intentions and then I end up just watching a film or something else. Saturday wasn't too bad I still felt quite rough but I was gradually picking up as the day slowly went on. I had to go down to the chemist to pick up some tablets and when I got down there it felt quite nice and so I kept on walking, it wasn't a long walk this time but it was maybe up to an hour, probably a little less. Spent most of the day lazing around apart from that and didn't feel like I wanted anything for dinner but I still had some stuff anyway. The sickness has fairly died down from the morning, the feeling sick, not actually being sick.
Sunday I stopped taking my "anti"-sickness tablet, felt much better for it, head is a lot clearer and not getting the stupid nausea either, but if it comes back ill take a few of them I don't think it will though , bloody well better not!! A lot of the day was spent watching the MotoGP and World Superbikes, some good results for Eugene Laverty in the wsbk races and the rest of the time on the computer watching Stargate. Towards the evening I went for a bit of a sleep and dreamt of a time when I and my friend were younger and there was a white car and we had found a sponge football. It was a damp day something like what it was today and so the sponge ball was a bit dirty and we spent quite a while kicking the ball against this car (there was no damage) and basically played a game of how much of it can we get covered before we get chased. Turned out we got the whole of one side covered and decided that was enough. Today my heart seemed to be pumping extra hard was doing a big thud, thud, thud not fast or pacey but so heavily that it was making my belly bounce out a bit with each beat, stayed for a while so jus took more fluids to see if that would help with it at all.
Most of Sunday though was spent sleeping and was a little concerned that I had slept so much that I wouldn't be able to sleep that night. Which turned out to be the case, lay trying to get to sleep for over three hours, but just lay there thinking about a few things, probably a bit too much thinking, it's my thing. But one of the things that came to mind was on Friday my doctor seems to be more concerned with the chest virus I had than anything else, as if he is expecting it to come back at any stage and I was just wondering, why? Maybe with the "weakened" immune system with the chemo? maybe it is going to be a recurring thing? Or maybe it is a lot more serious than I'm giving it credit for, even though it did basically screw me over for a couple months, but I'm thankful for it as it did highlight the Lymphoma. My guess is the weakened immune system one.
Monday came and today is the day I normally try to get back to normality, but today the weather is pretty crappy again, so I put on all the waterproofs and head out, initially I was just going to go to Ormeau Park but once I got there I felt pretty good, there is a thing on in Botanic so I went round to that and played about on all the puzzles, basically got them all done on first or second go apart from one, where you had to keep the ball up at the top of a wheel and through the maze and out a hole on the other side, except there was a large gap bigger than the ball with the wood swelling with the water so it kept falling out, ended up coming back to it and solving that puzzle so I could watch the clip once the puzzle is completed. That was fun, reminded me of the puzzles in the Crystal Maze.
After playing around there for a short bit I headed back home. Earlier in the day I had to phone the hospital as the nurse there had said that they would order in tablets as they only gave me the two weeks supply rather than the three and had to make sure it was ready to pick up. But rather than checking to see if the tablets where in the cupboard they kept saying I should just go and get it off my GP...
Victoria, Rosemary, Jonny, Jamie et moi
In the evening I got quite shaky, I always am to an extent but tonight I am extra shaky, I'm guessing this is down to the tablets I'm on and with the walk I had earlier too, it will pass. In the evening we went to the quiz again and I had a few drinks. It was a good night, a little unusual with the Scottish and the French there and then a Chinese guy after who had his car clamped and didn't know what the ticket said it was for, after drunkenly reading it two or three times it turned out that his tax was out of date and asked me to phone the number to get it off (on his phone) but they were closed at the time, not surprisingly, it was one in the morning. After headed back to Victoria's for a good chat and to drink some of our winnings from the quiz, oh yeah we won the quiz, easily.
Tuesday I had a lie in just with not getting home until so late but just after I finished breakfast I got a call from Virgin mobile and they wanted to know how my service was and any problems and if there was any way they could improve. I told them that I was pretty happy with what I am getting the reception seems pretty good and the speeds seem to be ok, the only thing that I wouldn't mind was getting more data to make the phone more "future-proof" so he had a look at my tariff and seen that it was a pretty damn good one and he thought that he would struggle finding one better. So after being on hold for a minute or two he came back and said I've got one here which is the VIP package with this you get unlimited mins, text and data and that includes to 08 numbers it's normally £15 but we can offer you that for £5, so I got mine and my mums tariff switched to that. Doubt I'll ever get much of an improvement on that. So that was a nice start to the day.
That evening I watched the Arsenal game and they got beat and watched some Stargate and The Grey after. I also saw that Ender's Game is out in the cinema on Friday so I know what I'm doing on Friday afternoon then. That night I got to sleep pretty well but it didn't last long, woke up and couldn't get back to sleep again so lay staring at the wall for a while and finally got over again. Wednesday I was waiting for a couple of parcels to arrive, a couple of Christmas presents and I got myself the new Kindle Paperwhite so I can read at night without hurting my wrists holding the Kindle Fire. So I won't mind if I can't sleep tonight! Today I didn't do very much at all, just TV and films, did go out for lunch but was only away for twenty minutes and of course during that time it rained, thankfully it was on the way back home though. I got another message today from Virgin Mobile saying that if I refer a friend I get £50 off my bill... that's ten months free... any takers?
Today I have had some stomach pains not quite sure what it is but it's not the same stomach pains I was getting a few years ago when my stomach had ripped open so I'm not too concerned about it, probably just some trapped wind or food and will hopefully pass soon. One thing that has been playing up for a few days now, well since Friday is one of my veins, the one that they put the line into seems to be a bit blocked up, they must have put the chemo in too fast and that's what's caused it. Has happened a few times before and normally takes a couple weeks to fully go away, but ill not know it's gone until much longer after and think oh yeah that's gone.
Well that's up until the 23rd... Rest I'll do tomorrow or so...
Sunday, 20 October 2013
The best awful day I have had.
So after going to bed early on Friday night, that is basically all I did, not getting to sleep early or anything like that, did have a good stare at the back of my eyelids though, after about an hour or so I decided that I'd stick on a bit of music, couldn't read as the kindle was charging for tomorrow and it was a little too cold outside the blankets to sit on the computer. But then it was too warm under the blankets, so I was doing that in and out of the duvet dance trying to find the right proportion to be under and out, that lasted a few hours. No idea what time I finally got to sleep at but it was still dark...
Alarm went off nice and early the next morning and... it was still dark, up washed and then a small breakfast, I haven't really been that hungry the last few days and when I have ate it's made me a little nauseous, think one of the problems is that I'm eating too much though. I must remember I am only a small thing. Traffic didn't seem too bad on the way over to hospital today which meant I arrived a little earlier than normal, only by a couple of minutes, you'd think this would be a good thing but it basically means it'll be there those few minutes longer. Arrived about 7.50 and the reception doesn't open until 8, sat for a bit, but normally I let everyone else queue up and then go up myself after the queue goes, this time I went straight up and was first signed in, done the usual sit and read for a bit and got buzzed to go round to get the bloods taken, first time getting seen by this nurse, I've seen him around a few times but we were joking about the weather and that the rain annoys so many people, but where we live you'd think we'd be used to it and enjoy it, I know I do anyway.
That done I go back to take my seat and there was a couple that had stole my spot, so had to go to another corner so no one could sit beside me. Was going up to get my hot chocolate, that I've been going off slightly more and more each week, but before I made anything I checked to see if the canisters had hot water in them, they didn't so no hot chocolate, I wasn't even annoyed at this, I had a feeling that this is going to be how today would be with my lack of sleep and then getting doped up a bit later for the chemo. After a bit more reading the buzzer went and round to see the doctor, after a short wait outside his room I went in to see him.
This was the main consultant for the Lymphoma, I was glad it was him with what has been going on the last week or so. I told him about the night sweats coming back and the arms being sore and that I had also felt a gland but it wasn't really swollen but you can still feel it. He asked when the last time I had a scan and it was about 6-7 weeks ago and he didn't particularly want to do it so soon. He then proceeded to ask if I thought that the stronger chemo was working, I didn't hesitate to say "yes compared to the last one it's doing a much better job but... the lymphoma problems seem to be returning". He also asked how my chest was with the virus and it seems to be ok, no real problems with it lately thankfully. So I had convinced him enough to book me in for another scan to see the "progress", that will probably be in a couple of weeks. Will be nice to see if the new stuff is doing what it should, but I think most people would be thinking "urgh another trip to hospital". We organised what tablets I'd need over the next few weeks for the chemo and we got them ordered too.
Went out and got my pre-meds from the nurse and I took the steroids and asked if it was ok to not take the anti-sickness tablets until later as "they hit me in town last time when I was having my fry" so I held on to that myself for a while and asked when I should come back and was told about two, two and a half hours should do. Went out to make my appointment for THREE weeks time, the doctor was happy enough with that and I could do with a seventh day I can lie in during the week, six just wasn't enough for me.
Once out I went out to the shop to get a packet of sweets for later and walked on into town to try and find somewhere to go eat. As it was just after ten there weren't many places open yet so kept a look around and decided to take the anti-sickness tablet. While walking down Castle Street towards Primark direction I seen three guys coming my way wearing what looked like training trackies for a club so I was having a look to see if I recognised the badge, only to see a big RH on the left hand side, looked at the face and it was Ricky Hatton, he looked at me and I gave him a nod. Walked over to Game to see if there were any deals on in there but the doors were closed, thought it was a little unusual for Game to be closed at this time, went to go into HMV and they were closed too and so was the Arcade. My initial thought was that there was a bomb scare out the back and as I walked down the road a little further I seen that the street was closed off and the police, but when I looked down there was a fire in one of the buildings and the fire brigade there to put out the fire. It was quite busy at that side so I couldn't get a good picture and walked round to the Northern Whig side to have a look there.
Got a clear shot and stood and watched that for a bit and I noticed people sitting in the restaurant on the corner and that there was a sign up saying "Ulster Fry £3.50" worked out quite well in the end then! Went in there and got a seat made my order and each time the door opened you could smell the fire round the corner. The place was quite busy, I'm guessing this was because of the fire and people where in there to kill some time before going to work, there was definitely one group that was out with their boss and the boss paid for their meal, doubt many would do that. The fry was quite nice nothing spectacular and got another Latte in a glass, don't get the whole glass thing if I'm honest. Started feeling a bit nauseous again so I am thinking that they have gave me the ondansetron which is the anti-sickness tablet that makes me sick rather than clears it up, plus the dopey, dizzy stage hasn't kicked in.
The fire fighters were still busy doing their thing on Rosemary Street as I walked back. Outside City Hall the rain started a bit so I hid outside the bank by my old bus stop and stood there for a bit, seemed to have the right idea as others copied me. Waited for the rain to die down a bit before moving on. Went for a different route on the way back to hospital down Great Victoria Street and was waiting for another thing to be happening, no such luck though, no upside down cars or people climbing out windows. While walking along though there was a guy walking a little bit slower than me and I noticed up ahead there was a fairly large puddle and when the cars went through it, it splashed out over the footpath, he obviously didn't see this. I had caught up with him and would have been able to take over but I seen a car coming so I snuck to the opposite side of where the car would be from him and splash! He got soaked and I walked on dry, thanks to his protection... really should have warned him, but I didn't. For that though the rain got heavier and I got drenched, I didn't mind the top half as I had my coat on but the top half dripped down to my bottom half and soaked my trousers doubly. Most annoying part is that there are no hand driers in the hospital to dry off under, they only have cloths.
Went round to the treatment room to let them know I was back and they asked if I had buzzer 8, checked and it was 6 so it was a good thing I called in to let them know or they wouldn't be able to get me. It was now only 11.30; I went back round to waiting room which was certainly a lot busier than it was this morning. After two hours I noticed that I had been waiting for two hours, spent it reading and trying to inconspicuously dry off my trousers, not doing very well at either as I was still wet and people were giving me funny looks from time to time, wonder if they would prefer I sat there with my trousers off? I would certainly prefer that and if I had have known I would have been waiting so much longer I would have went back into town and got a cheap pair of dry trousers to wear in hospital. At this stage I decided to go down and get a bottle, went for Club Lemon, not had that in a while, I'm getting all adventurous now.
Returned to find that my seat had been stolen again! He must have thought that it was a hot water seat or something. Worked out nice though as I sat a bit closer to the door where the warm air was coming from so might dry me off a bit faster. At this stage I was thinking about the anti-sickness tablet again and I was feeling sicker and not dopey at all so they have definitely gave me the wrong one. After a bit longer I was buzzed and was brought round to the treatment room, so I made myself cosy in my seat got all the essentials out i.e. phone, kindle, power cable, sweets and drink and continued to read. It seemed very busy in here today and I seen that there were a few people in front of me still to get hooked up so I knew I would have to wait a while longer. Continued to read as I knew once I got my piriton I wouldn't be able to and just watch a film.
1 of 6 and 2 drips...
Got called round at about 2.30 and wasn't until about 3.30 that they started giving me the different Chemo drugs and then finally the piriton which you half to wait half an hour before they can give you the rituximab. At least the nurse was content doing a good job rather than doing the whole small talk, said to her not to be gentle when putting the line in and she wasn't and got it first time rather than like some of the others that miss, miss, miss... then get someone else. While she was putting the chemo in there was a group arrived and they were moaning about having to wait for an hour, I looked at the nurse and asked "did they say an hour? I'd be amazed if I only had to wait an hour" I couldn't believe they were moaning about waiting an hour and each time they moaned a started to chuckle more and more each time, then others started to do the same, there were a couple others that had been there from 8 this morning like I had and we just looked at each other and knew exactly what each other were thinking. One of them didn't even have a book or newspaper with him.
So finally at about 4.30 I got started on the Rituximab which takes about 2 hours in total after that starts to be finished for the day. At this point I decided it was time to watch a film and chose Django, decent show seen it in the cinema. But I only got about 30 minutes into it and thought "nah I'm just going to sleep", so I put my feet up closed my eyes and all I could hear was everyone moaning about how long today was taking and how bored they were. It was a long day, but come prepared, these things happen from time to time, I guess after 15 years of being in and out of hospitals weekly teaches you a thing or two. Plus there is a TV right in front of you and you have a remote for it, I bet at home they would just be sitting watching deal or no deal anyway. That made me put in my headphones and listen to some music too.
The only bad thing about that is you don't know when there is someone there in front of you and it was a nurse with the tablets that I needed. I checked through them and seen that they had only gave me two weeks supply of a couple of them, but I won't be back for three, said to the nurse and she checked it out. Once again eyes closed, music on, nurse arrives, don't know how long she was there before I opened my eyes and seen her and she said that the doctor that is there now thinks that it should be for the three weeks. Means I'll have to come back on Monday or Tuesday to pick them up, don't mind I'll just add it into my walk on one of those days.
During the time while I was on the drip the old guy beside me was getting quite annoyed that he had been there since one and wasn't going as well as he had hoped, so he looked to me for a bit of comfort, sympathy or someone to agree with him, wrong person unfortunately, he was being a bit optimistic and I had to burst his bubble for him. He was getting RBCs which were due to finish in 30 minutes and then getting some platelets after which would take 30 minutes, so he was saying "I'm just glad I'll be getting out in an hour", brief pause "oh I wouldn't count on that, don't forget the flush after this bag then the change over time, then the flush after the second and getting your line taken out, that will be at least another 30 minutes and that's if they get to you straight away." No point giving him false hope, so if my calculations are correct and if it goes smoothly he will be leaving when I am... turned out his platelets wheren't there and he had to wait about 30 minutes for them to come up, poor chap.
The moaners were still moaning all this time too. I continue to close my eyes and listen to the music. Oh and I also asked them if they knew which anti-sickness tablet they gave me, but they had no record that they gave me any and so they were going to give me another one as well as the steroids again. One of the times the nurse came back to take my obs I cracked a joke "Phoo just got back in time from my jog then, it might be up a bit from last time". She seemed to be enjoying my witty banter especially with the rest of the ones in here, bunch of moaners they were.
Eventually the drip was all through and time for the flush and started to take off the sticky stuff holding the line in, but when it came to taking the rest of it off she took it from the other side against the flow of hair. Went to the loo after and I had my ribena pee from the red chemo, phoned for a lift and went and bought a packet of crisps and toffeecrisp and stood outside in the wind and rain and ate them. Such a relief to get out of there, it was a long, long day, certainly much longer than I had initially expected think it was about 6.30 by the time I was leaving the hospital to get home. On the way home my mum said she didn't want to go home one way because it was so busy so she was going to go down past Revenhill, I thought there was a rugby match on so we went down another way, I laughed and said "do you remember the last time we came this way?" she thought about it and laughed herself "we're not getting home tonight", it was a time I got out about 2 years ago from a stay in hospital and it was raining then and everywhere was flooded and we got stuck in traffic for over an hour. Turned out if we had have went past Ravenhill it would have been fine, there was a game on but it wasn't Ulster that was playing so the traffic wouldn't have been bad that way. Got home about 7 and got a pint of water and then a pint of orange, there was a dinner left for me but I didn't have the stomach to eat potato so just ate the bacon.
Went up and turned on the computer to watch a film and lay down for a few minutes but passed out as I woke up at about 3 in the morn, thought that was going to be me awake the rest of the night but a few minutes later I was out cold again, this happened a couple times during the night and had my now usual sweats too and didn't get up until about 9.30.
I felt that today deserved to have its own entry as it was generally such an awful day in so many ways and yet I really enjoyed it at the same time. The best awful day I have had... to date.
Saturday, 19 October 2013
dun, dun, DUN!!!
So Friday came and it was hospital day, nothing special about this one, just getting my counts checked and they were all spot on were there should be, ok the white cells were a bit low but more to what a normal person would be compared to my normal high count. The night before I had organised with Victoria to call round and see her, haven't seen her since my birthday a couple months ago and it was good to catch up with her again.
In the afternoon I went for a nap, but it turned out more to be a full on sleep and that was me until teatime. After tea killed a bit of time and then went out for a few drinks, a few more drinks and then a few too many more drinks and stumbled home. Next morning/day I was in some state, ended up lying in bed all day except to get up to get some food and that was basically it and after dinner had a good two hour sleep to wake up to a load of messages about heading out... so I did and this time I only had a few drinks. Was a pretty late one but nothing mental.
Sunday ... very little happened, just lay around watching tv and some sports, nothing too exciting and some more Stargate SG-1 in the evening. Monday was something similar, a lot of lazing about and not doing anything and just generally a waste of a day. In the evening I watched one of my old fav films, Evil, good show, remember watching it a few years ago on RTE and quite enjoyed it and watched it again a couple years ago, still like it after tonight as well.
On Monday night I was thinking about a few things and I have noticed over the last few days that I have been having the pains that I would get from the effects of the lymphoma, the sore arms and shoulders, this could be just that my muscles are sore and nothing to do with the lymphoma but then my back is also sore where the glands are there too. Another thing is that my sweats are coming back and are quite bad... so I've always known that my body is quite good at adapting to things such as all the drugs over the years that I've been getting that initially seem to work and then after a while they seem to stop working. I really hope this is not the case now but it wouldn't surprise me if it was.
This sort of put a bit of a dampener on things for me on Tuesday but I wasn't going to let it ruin my day. I was going to go to the cinema but I started walking and it was bloody sore, my knees and ankles. Ended up just walking to Ormeau Park and sat and watched the squirrels for a while before starting to walk back home, once I started again I seemed to be fine but after a bit things got really sore again. Got home and had a bit of a nap before dinner and then went to the Insyplex to watch the football, would have liked to have watched the Germany game against Sweden, but obviously it wasn't on, so had to settle for the England game against Poland which they won and have now qualified for the next World Cup, Germany ended up winning 5-3.
After the match I put on a film, The Campaign, just a silly comedy but I quite enjoyed it and went to sleep. More night sweats tonight and pain on my left arm so had a bit of a feel around and was able to feel a gland, not quite what you would call swollen but it was pronounced enough to notice it was there, but at least in general I had a good sleep and a lie in a bit the next day. 9.30.
I had a few things I had to do today , one was to get Tim a card so went down to consy for a bit to get that and ended up getting him a book on illusions, something a bit different from reading or watching films and tv. By the time I got home I had started to rain a little and I was going to go to the cinema to watch Prisoners but the rain came on heavily so I never bothered with it and stayed in and watched some tv just and had a bit of a sleep too, another reason why I think that the chemo is wearing off, or the lymphoma is playing up again, I am getting so tired during the daytime more often and a hell of a lot more tired.
That night I started working on my old PC to clean it up a bit and to get it restored to sell on, still a pretty good wee computer and does what it should do, I just wanted something a bit more "future-proof" and definitely MORE powerful. So I started clearing out all the programs that won't be used or needed on it. Funny watching some of the old videos I had on it and am transferring them over to the new one.
Thursday came along and I still haven't heard anything back from Tim directly so I went round to his house with the stuff for him but no one was in so ended up having to leave it at his door, haven't heard of any bomb scares in that area so think they have got it ok... maybe. After I went for a walk and didn't quite know where I was heading to, for the last few days I've wanted to get to see Prisoners and that's what I ended up doing. My legs were quite sore again today but I kept struggling on to get there and did just in time, had a bit of a chat to the guys and then headed in to watch it, it was quite a long show but didn't feel as long as it was and there were no real slow moments in it. I quite enjoyed it. It also wasn't quite what I was expecting, I thought it was going to be about actual prisoners than people that were prisoners... if that makes sense... was good though.
Done a bit more work on the computer again tonight but I think I caused more problems than done good, apart from the end when I removed all the problems that I had caused in trying to do good, but it's in a much better state now that what it was a few hours ago, all the stats have went up and there is some good, useful, up-to-date software on the computer now for the next owner that they wouldn't know about if I hadn't put it on.
But now it's time for an early bed and off to hospital in the morning.
Friday, 11 October 2013
Rollercoaster
Monday morning I woke up and from that moment on I knew I was going to have a crap day along with what appeared to be everyone else in Belfast, ok I woke up at about 7.30 and lay on for another hour or so, but was in a pretty poor mood, finally built up the motivation to get out of bed and go and get breakfast. But all the morning and some of the afternoon was spent killing time, waiting to go to the GP to see my doctor and explain to him why I am leaving. I didn't rush to get there on time and turned up at half two, when the appointment was for and they said "oh your doctor isn't in today...", this certainly did not help with my mood.
Didn't have to wait long before I was called in to see... a nurse, a nurse was taking my review and before we started I said I wanted to talk about something else and listed off all the ridiculous things that had happened over the last month alone and said about speaking to the Practice Manager, which I said I would like to do. So after she took my blood pressure and weight, asked a few silly questions she went to have a word with the Practice Manager and said that it was ok to go in and speak with her.
After each of the things I had brought up with the Practice Manager she was giving absolutely ridiculous excuses for every single one of them pawning it off so that it was other people that where causing the problems and not them. It would have made me feel a lot better if she had admitted that they were the cause of it but just listening to the absolute shite coming out of her mouth, pissed me off even more and lost interest in what she was spewing. Towards the end she finally admitted that one of the things (the being told to come back later and being sent home) should not have happened and she said she would "have a word with the girls about that". Too little, too late.
At the end she said "if you're unhappy with the practice you are more than welcome to move at any time", "that's exactly what I am going to do and I hope that it's just me and not other people as well that are getting pissed around" and then I left, so apparently they will have a summary letter ready for me for tomorrow to take to the new GP.
E=MC Hammer
I was quite riled up after this and decided to go for a walk to settle down, but there were loads of school kids around with the time of the day so couldn't relax as much as I had maybe wanted to, but it was still a nice walk. By the time I got home I had thought about going to the quiz tonight and my friend is going in for heart surgery tomorrow, to be operated on Wednesday, so would be nice to see him one last time out and about for a bit. Turns out that it was a communication error and they're getting in contact tomorrow to find out what is happening. There wasn't many people about that night but three of us ended up going to the quiz and we done pretty good for only having three in the team. We ended up coming 4th, with 45 point, 3rd had 46 and first had 50, so we were not too far behind. The other teams all had about 6-8 people in each of them so we were disappointed but pleased with the outcome.
In the end of the day, Monday wasn't that bad in the end, highs and lows, more lows than highs but screw them, nothing I can do about that now...
Tuesday certainly started off a lot better, got a couple of things in the post, a few things I had ordered, one of which was my new OVIVO sim so I now have that in my calculator phone. Today I was killing time before going down to the GP again to pick up the summary letter but at least I was in a much better mood this time, knowing it was coming to an end. Thankfully the letter was ready, wouldn't have surprised me one bit if it wasn't and after I picked that up I went straight to the new place, and had to fill in a form to see if the doctor would accept me, so will hear back in the next couple of days from there. When I got home I was just passing the time and looking for stuff to do in the evening when on LoveFilm I came across Stargate SG-1 and all 10 series are all on that!!! I will be kept busy for a while now.
That night though, I thought I'd catch up with a friend that I hadn't seen in a while, so I sent her a text to see if she would like to go out for a walk, so we met and had a good chat, not seen each other in months and she got engaged during her holiday about a month ago. Was great catching up with her, although she has some bad news about her mum. Hopefully everything will be ok.
Wednesday... nothing much happened in the morning apart from getting a call from the new GP saying that I had been accepted, so in the afternoon I went over to get the registration papers and an appointment booked. While I was there I bumped into my A-Level Biology teacher, he recognised me and remembered my name and he's still working over in my old school. He was a bit shocked to find out that I was a teacher and even more shocked to find out that I had been teaching for six years, or I just made him feel old. When I got home there was a funeral leaving from a couple doors down from the house, I had been speaking to the dad about it only about a week ago, but it's still sad to see even if it is expected and for the best.
Didn't quite fancy sitting around for the rest of the day and I've got into a bad habit of smoking again, but I knew it was only a matter of time before this would happen. So I walked into town, for no real reason other than to go there and then discovered that it might be a good idea to go into work as I haven't been there in over a month to let them know what is happening and to get my pay slip, went round a couple shops and was going to walk home but after all the walking I've been doing lately my feet and legs where getting way way way too sore for me to even cope with so decided to get the bus home and went for a bit of a sleep.
Later that night after all the family had left, I had got a call earlier about heading round to Jamie's, so I got a few tins and popped round there that night. It had been a few weeks since I'd seen them, when I'd normally see them every few days or so. Got home and sat on the computer for a while and then off to bed.
Thursday I had planned to have a lazy day, but it wasn't until early afternoon that i realised that I had ordered something in Argos I had to pick up and was after a few other things too, but on the way down my brother and Jillian where joking about spiders so I came up with a really bad idea of a prank... but I wasn't sure if I would go through with it or not. Went down to consy and got what I had to get and seen a toy spider... I couldn't help myself, so I bought it and went home. I was trying to do stuff on the computer but it turned out that it wasn't working properly so had to give up on that. Looked at the spider and thought "let's go for it" got a bit of string and blu-tac, went round to the house and put it through the letter box and stuck it on so it dangled down. It was one of those "hehehe... oh shit what have I done...". Got home and watched a few episodes of Stargate and a bit of a nap. Not certain how the spider thing has been taken but I think I am basically dead...
Later after dinner I got a text from the friend I went out for a walk with asking if I was going for another one tonight, I hadn't planned to, but I quite liked it the other night so I said I'd go. But things seem to be a lot worse for her mum than initially thought and she was quite upset, but the walk seemed to take her mind off it a little, for a while at least, but it's very upsetting seeing your friends in such a way and my thoughts go out to her and her family. Also got in touch with Tim who is going in for the open heart surgery that had the "communication error" and he found out that he has to go in on Sunday and gets operated on Monday, I hope everything goes well for him as well and he's back on his feet in no time, at least he can join me for walks when he's feeling up to it!!
Generally this week so far has been... a rollercoaster, some high highs, some low lows and I would say now is a low thinking of all the bad things for me and my friends that are happening, but we'll get through it and we're all there for each other.
Monday, 7 October 2013
That Is All
What a horrible, horrible, horrible, Horrible day!!!
This is an accurate representation of exactly how I am feeling today.
But it will not break me!!
And for those that do not know the outcome of Final Fantasy VII, play the game and watch the film.
Sunday, 6 October 2013
Rocktober...
Tuesday morning when I got up as I am no longer watching a TV series on LoveFilm or a box set, I had time to catch up on some normal TV. Started off with Agents of Shield, some of the physics are quite silly in it and looks stupid, but putting that aside it's not a bad show, more for teenagers than older ones but at least it's an interesting topic, something like the reason I enjoyed Merlin. The other thing I watched was Atlantis on BBC, that was very average at best, I didn't like how they used the names and personas of ancient famous people like Hercules and Pythagoras, kids these days will think it's accurate and think the stories are as well.
In the afternoon I had a hospital appointment with dermatology. It was very uneventful, the way my GP had worded it to them they thought there was something wrong, but there wasn't, I'm back in about 3 months to see if there are any changes. I decided to walk home today and it was the best thing I could have done, it seemed to clear the head a bit which was getting a bit stuffy with sitting around so much the last few days and bumped into Robyn, as well as a few other people on Botanic and got a nice big sandwich for in the house.
Glued to Nemo
When I got home I still had a lot of energy that the walk has seemed to have given me and went onto the bike in the garage for a while and done quite well on it. It's always quite nice sitting cycling away listening to some music and not having any real goal apart from let's see how long I can go for. Afterwards I was done out though, but a nice done out and its always the very end that wrecks me the most, going as fast as I can for as long as I can, I can't seem to get the machine to go any faster than 33 (I'm guessing kmph) but I'm able to stick it for about a minute. But you feel like you've accomplished something afterwards.
The evening was spent half watching the Celtic Barca match half playing WoW, still absolutely hate Barcelona and your lad Neymar, wonder how he'd react if he really was hurt. After that I watched the rest of Wrath of the Titans which I had started in hospital on Friday, but didn't get the whole way through it. Very short film.
Wednesday I raid reset day on WoW so I wasn't sure f I should bother doing anything today or just sit in and play WoW and all the Raids that I could do again this week... I ended up doing just that, staying in and having a WoW-day, not much to say about that but that's basically all I done on Wednesday.
Thursday morning I had a bit of a lie in, still up at a fairly respectable hour though and when the mail came I had a letter from the GP about making a review appointment, think I get it about once a year. So I was torn on what to do today again, to go on the bike or to go out for a walk, it had been raining quite heavily during the morning but I really wanted to get out for a while rather than how I've spend the majority of my time the last week. In the end I decided to go for a walk and call into the GP practice while I was out to make the appointment. I hopped up well and put on my waterproofs and boots and walked down, but there was no rain...
At the GPs the receptionist asked if I had far to come and that there was a slot free this afternoon at 2.30, only had to kill about two hours, so I thought great I'll just doddle around here for a while until then and even made sure that it was definitely today at 2.30 and she definitely said "yes it is". Went away down to Victoria Park and had a really nice walk around there and came back to the GP for just after 2. When I went up to reception it was a different person on and she said that the other girl had been trying to get in contact with me to tell me that the appointment was on Monday and not today, which said it was at least three times. So I have had enough with the GP and will change, the amount of time I waste going back and forward, for such ridiculous petty things that should not cause any hastle at all, so I will come back on Monday and that will be the last time I have to deal with his shite staff that have an incredible ability find some way of making the simplest thing go wrong.
Anyway, I'm past being angry with them and just looking forward to going somewhere else, will be interesting to start off with all the crap that's involved but at least they'll get it sorted. The rest of the day was spent sitting in front of the computer, the walk with all the gear on had completely taken it out of me and it barely rained. In the evening in the Insyplex I watch X-men First Class, good show but not as fantastic as it could have been and finished the night watching some of Season 3 of the IT Crowd.
During the night I woke up and had this weird feeling, over the last couple of days my shakes have been pretty bad, but tonight I woke up and was full of energy and my body felt as if it was on a bus when it shakes, one of the old busses. It felt quite nice and I didn't really want to move so I didn't for a while. I'm guessing it was my muscles shaking ever so slightly and that's what was giving me the feeling. Early start today as I have hospital but it's just a short visit today, the counts all came back very good and at levels you would expect a normal person to be at. So I guess that means I'll be having a few drinks tonight!
I had to have another shave today and this time I had to charge the shaver, first time since getting it, but you could really see all the wee patches that aren't growing, so I'll have to keep on top of it a little more now. Most of the rest of the day was spent relaxing as I knew I'd be heading out tonight.
I met up with Tim in Katy's and we had heard that Bill, a guy that used to drink down in Aunty Annie's and were quite friendly with was now drinking in Morrisons, so we decided to pay him a visit in there, initially we couldn't see him so just sat and chattered for a bit and then realised he was sitting over watching the rugby and we went over and had a good catch up with him. It was a good night and went round to the Hudson Bar to catch up with a few others and randomly bumped into another friend who I thought was still over in London and more I don't see nearly enough.
Saturday was quite a waste of a day, had a good lie in but felt a bit rough, not your usual hung-over rough though, head's fine although very tired, hard to describe it accurately but I just feel as if something isn't right, I'm guessing that my liver and kidneys are working their ass off to get rid of the booze from last night but I don't think I'll be going out tonight just in case. Shakes are really bad today and I thought they were bad the last few days! Watched a couple of films, played a bit of WoW a nice "boring" Saturday.
Sunday was something similar to Saturday, a lot of sitting around doing nothing, ordered a new sim for my back up phone (aka the calculator) the new phone I have uses a mini sim so if anything goes wrong with that I won't be able to use it or have to pay for a new sim. So I went for an OVIVO sim, basically it's £20 initial setup, but you can get £15 credit back and each month you get 150 minutes 250 text and 500mb internet at £0 P/M, will do nicely in the back up. I'm trying to think of how I have actually spent today and I basically do not know, I have done nothing, listened to the Arsenal game against West Brom... oh and the World Super Bikes... hmm meh doubt I'll do anything this evening.
GP tomorrow!!
Sunday, 6 October 2013
September Ends
So I've done it again and left it a week before updating this again, so I'll have probably have forgotten some things to put in, but generally will include all the "highlights" of the week. I should get into a bit of a better routine of updating this. I will split this one into two one finishing off September and then the start of October for the next part.
After the rough start to Saturday things seemed to pick up for me, didn't quite feel as sick or anything and increased the fluid intake to try and help ease that too. Ordered a couple of things the day before in hospital for the PS2 and they arrived this morning so I will spend a bit of time setting that up and probably playing it as well, I got a new controller and memory card and of course, the main reason I got that stuff for, FIFA14, all together cheaper for the ps2 than getting it for the PS Vita or PS3. So will enjoy a bit of time sorting that out. First though the football is on TV so will be watching that for a while.
Most of the day was spent with football watching it on TV, playing it on the PS2 and then listening to it on the radio, one of the problems though is that I didn't make any changes to my Dream Team and half of them are injured or not on the team sheet, so will lose out on a lot of points and fall down the tables a bit, probably back down to where I should be. I had a nice early night on Saturday and didn't wake up till quite late on Sunday morning, I really must have needed a good sleep, even though I hadn't done very much over the last few days but I'm sure my body was working overtime with all the extra drugs inside me.
Sunday morning was nonexistent as I spent it all in bed sleeping. Finally got down got down to have breakfast and sat and watched TV for a bit with the kids playing hide and seek, although their nanny was going to take them to the park for a while, but they were too busy running around and ended up just staying in the house. Today was another fairly quiet day for me and spent most of it on the computer. There was a period where I went to bed for a while and I must have fallen asleep because I only thought I was there for about 30 minutes or so but it turned out that it was over an hour and after the good sleep I had the night before I was quite surprised.
Today seen a return to World of Warcraft, I haven't been playing it properly for nearly 7 months, there have been a lot of things added in that time and catching up with Insy to the level he would be if I hadn't missed out was a lot quicker than I was expecting I'll not complain, have a couple of other characters that I would like to do end-game things with. But that was how I killed all my time on Sunday.
Monday morning I was thinking about maybe doing something with my time today and making the most of my time, but the weather wasn't the greatest and ended up just staying in. Plus I have to go to hospital tomorrow so I will be doing something then. This morning the beard/stubble is getting a little long and needs shaved, you can also notice that there are patches that are not growing, especially compared to the rest of it, so I ended up going clean shaven, Its only the second time I've used that shaver but it still had the battery from the previous time I used it about a year and a half ago!!
An example of some of the WoW raiding I've been doing.
I also watched the end of The 4400 today, the end of it seemed a bit rushed and not very good. They must have known there wasn't going to be another series and just seemed to give up on it. It was all over the place and wasn't as fun to watch as the rest of the series' and episodes. After that was out of the way I put on Friends With Benefits, it was ok, nothing to rave about, but I'll not be watching it again for a while. Spent some time playing a bit more WoW and in the evening watched Bad Education on the iPlayer.
I had some good dreams last night about zombies and just basically surviving with them running around outside, they were fun and quite interesting. I like those types of dreams, when I remember them and/or have them.